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WHAT IT MEANS TO BE (NOT WHITE)

Where do I even begin?

Would you feel better if I apologised?

Would it make you comfortable if I said I was sorry for the plenty of melanin I possess?

Make your heart beat slower,

If this black slowly turned to white.

So that you can finally hold your items without gripping too tight.


Would you rather I walked with my hands held high

And reminded you that there is no weapon in them

I’ll say that and you’ll hear,

“I am a weapon.”

I am a weapon of mass destruction,

Beware your children might fall prey to the master of the night:

 Me, Us, We

As you give them red apples, look closely enough to see if there is no blood dripping from these racially motivated killings

An apple a day keeps the doctor away

As you stuff blood-filled apples down your children’s throats.


What it means to be the opposite of white… 

Your heart breaks when you look at the news

Your heart shatters for the brothers and sisters who were classified as weapons but killed like sheep..

If we are weapons,

Why’s your gun so obsessed with us?


There’s so much hate

There’s so many fakes

Screaming black lives matter

But do they really?

Nothing matters.

Because no poem,

No song,

No nothing will change the hate

It will grow faster, reproduce in the minds of more to come.

All animals are equal but some..


So this is not a racism should stop poem,

It’s not a black girl magic poem

It’s a what it means to be(not white) poem 


I find myself grieving for people I didn't know existed before,

Whose existence ended after I discovered them

And I hate that it happens like this,

That it will always happen like this.

So,

Would you feel better if I apologised?

If I said I was sorry for the plenty of melanin I possess,

Make your heart beat slower?

… 

There will be no apologies for your discomfort. 


Bonita Murungi



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